So because of my lack of alarm clock, I set my mental body clock to wake me up every half hour or so after i went to bed around 3am, and thus was up bright and breezy at 6am. I toddled around my morning toilette like one of those really annoying "morning people" that you just wanna kill any time before 3pm and was even able to repaint my nails a glittery sparkly purply silvery colour - so, like Miss Elle Woods, i felt sparkly for my first official appearance at the school, and tappety tapped out onto the doorstep - and into the rain unfortunately - to wait for Mrs Lee to pick me up at the agreed time of 7:30am. I must admit, given her previous timekeeping, I wasn't expecting her to turn up at all, much less be on time. And so was I gloriously, heavenly surprised when.... I was exactly right?

Nope. I was just wet, yo. 60 minutes wet. Yes. One hour I waited there for her. At 7:45 I thought - ooh we'll be a little late... at 8am, I saw her husband going out to pick stuff up in the car. At 8:15, a lady from the same building came out to show her little boy across the road, sandwich an umbrella into his hand, and then scamper back into the building. Then she stopped and babbled at me in smily Korean. Obviously asking if I didn't have an umbrella and was waiting for the rain to stop. I shook my head and said aniyo! it's fine, it's okay. I'm waiting~~ and she babbled something else and ran off upstairs --- only to reappear two minutes later with an umbrella for me ;o;. My heart melted into a thousand hearts like <33333 and I again said aniyo.. everything's okay - and I fished out my new korean-english-korean dictionary and pointed her at "to wait" "director/manager" "car" and she said OH! and fiddled through said dict to find "late?" i nodded like e_E and she e_E'd with me, smiled, and then ran upstairs - sensible woman, as she was only wearing shorts and a tee and it was FREEZING. So I waited a little longer until the blood resumed circulating in my feet, and then thought, eloquently, Fuck. This.

I ran upstairs to my apartment, shot inside, threw off my work clothes and launched into my jeans. The plan of action was - to come down to the pc bang and keyboard smash out my anger, and then launch off into the city to find a public telephone and ring J Lee like OMFG WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? but as I shot out the door, I noticed the door to her office was open - it was now around 9 btw - so i went down stairs and ... lo and behold, there she was. Sauntering around the office in her casual wear. I said >>...and knocked. And asked her about the morning... and she said oh no classes today, come in come in :D! I bit back my natural response of well thanks for telling me so i didn't spend an hour waiting for you in the rain :D and just said okay. and went in and sat down. She gave me a cup of tea despite me saying i was fine, and then sat down and lectured me on communicating with her and how Korean people stop trying after so much effort and harden their minds against yaddayadda. I stared at her like >> omg i just spent an hour in the rain waiting for you and you're yelling at me about NOT TRYING TO COMMUNICATE? ... dude I was ready to communicate lemme tellya. I thought, though, no, let's not alienate the woman, and tried my damnedest to explain that I am NOT american and [no offence to you americans] I do NOT feel the need to run around shouting loudly to everyone and everything in my close proximity what i am doing and where i am going and blahblah. I am, however, British, and pretty damned reserved British at that - although as most people will tell you, I'm perfectly amiable. British culture is VERY different from American culture - she said oh is it? i thought it was the same. NUH UH baby. Britain and America couldn't be more different if Brits really DID eat green eggs and ham. So anyway, I also explained to her that I'm an adult and I've been living alone for four years, so I don't tend to think about REPORTING to some kind of PARENTAL figure that I'm heading out for the day or what time I'll be back tonight... because I'm, well, y'know, an adult. So anyway, she nodded and said that's fine blahblah.

So, I tell her that on Saturday I'm gonna sling my backside up to Seoul to go and meet a friend. She said oh, who is this friend? I said oh she's Korean, i've known her a while, she's very nice. She said oh? korean? what's his phone number? I said >>...why? she said well i should check up on him to make sure he's not a bad person.

What I thought: .......him?
What I said: ...no, that's okay. She's a good person.

What she said: well i need to call him, so please give me his telephone number.
What I thought: Fuck off.
What I said: No, I can't give out someone else's telephone number without asking. It's rude in my culture.

What she said: it isn't rude in Korean culture please give me it. Is it your boyfriend?
Me: ...She's female.
Her: oh. ... What does she do?
Me: I'm not sure. She's around my age and works full time.
Her: I should check up on her.
Me: No no, it's okay. I'm a pretty good judge of character. Don't worry I'll be fine. and yes, dear reader, inside I was wondering where I could hide the corpse...

And THEN... Dude. THEN she goes on to give me more lectures:

1) how I shouldn't trust any other korean's word about korean culture other than her, because a lot of them will tell me lies, apparently. Right. My Bullshit-O-Meter's just about hitting OVERLOAD at this point.

2) how I should ONLY have friends in Incheon and not travel anywhere else to see any other friends because "my mind will be soft to them and hard to Incheon and I won't be thinking of Incheon or my work." and so I shouldn't have any friends outside of Incheon.

Yeah, I'll admit it. I stared at her like she had two heads. Heads that said PSYCHO BITCH on their fronts. And I said RIGHT then and RIGHT there. No. She looked at me. I said NO I will have my own friends and go where I want. Please don't worry about me, I don't want to be rude. I also said I didn't tend to trust people until I'd known them at least a little while - she didn't get the entendre that this means you baby because i've known you less than a WEEK and you've fucked me around royally and this means I trust the Chan Twins and Reesie more than I trust you and I've not even MET Reesie yet, yo.

And just what would've happened, I thought, if Reesie had been a guy? Would she have given me a lecture about pregnancy and boyfriends affecting my job, too? So anyway >> then she got the office set up and she said okay we'll go get stuff from my main school and then I'll take you to go get your Alien card and we'll look at bicycles etc. I said okay, considering the subject closed.

ahahahaha.

So, we went off out into the rain, and despite me already being wet she forced me under her umbrella telling me that Koreans believe if they get rained on their hair will fall out [O.o] wrapped an arm around my shoulders and LEANED on me so I was like, nearly on the ground [she's shorter than me, i know that's hard to believe but it IS possible], and then frogmarched me over to her car. She tells me at this point that I should watch my saturdays because we often have to work through them etc.etc. and maybe I wouldn't get to see m yfriend this weekend. I said oh? My contract says I have two days off a week :> If I get my out of class stuff done around that, you can jack your working on saturdays, miss thang. I'm going to see my god damned FRIENDS. [honestly, the way she was talking she didn't even want me to have my friends in the U-fucking-K. So we get in, we run around to her office, she faffs around there.... and then? ...we head off to the other school. The school I'll be working in and haven't even seen yet. Okay, I don't mind this, because it's at least a step in ONE right direction.

My school is on a huge patch of reclaimed land - so new that it's still SEA on Mrs Lee's computer satellite map in the car - that's apparently going to be turned into an economic free zone like Hong Kong. Or something else that I don't understand so >> So I get introduced around, and then plonked in a room with the study books they use to look through. That's cool. I'm happy doing that with my cup of OJ ---

yes. that's a cup of OJ. The stuff that I'm allergic to.... This stuff wasn't too bad. I got a bit sniffly, a bit of a stomach twinge, but nothing I couldn't cope with - and as the other option was tomato juice I thought I'd stick with the devil I knew... ---

and a little later a girl called Stella - the girls in the Sesame English Village [yes, that's the name of the little school area i'm teaching in XD] all have English names while they're teaching. - came in to sit with me and said it was her first day and she was new, and we chatted for a while. She's really sweet, she's a month younger than me, and she has a tragus piercing she was concealing under her long hair - but it doesn't seem to be a problem because later in the day she had her hair in a bun and nobody complained, so my piercings should be all dandy. So i think we're going to get on. Then she went off, and I got shifted to another room to continue doing stuff. Around 1:30pm we went off to the canteen to try and get some Korean food for lunch, but it was shut, so instead we [being me and Lily] toddled across the road to go get some "bread" as they called it XD and it REALLY was... a shop that had fresh baked 596869 different types of bread and pastry and cake and bun and whatever. The American guy [who I still have not yet met!] apparently goes to eat that stuff everyday because he refuses to try Korean food XD which amazes me but whatever. So we ate stuff --- and Mrs Lee reappeared in VERY SMART CLOTHES and I'm like >> okay i'm still in my jeans... --- and it was yummy. Then she grabs Stella and I and yanks us off to meet the principal of the school. There are special slippers outside his door for us to wear and he's wearing these gold embroidered thingummies.... for about two seconds.

So while he's sat there massaging his feet on a massagy type footrest, he babbles in korean to Mrs Lee and offers us tea. I'm like no'mokay! and THEN right in front of him - bear in mind her earlier order to never trust anyone about korean culture other than her - says oh it's korean culture you must accept. And he's staring at me like I'm the rudest idiot on the planet. So, as I said earlier. I'll trust people who actually tell me stuff and don't BS me through the day thx. Anyway he orders some tea in from his secretary - one of about 4684569 - and it takes a while to get there 'cause she has to wind her way through about 4 miles of his office before she finds us. So we sip at our tea and he babbles at Stella. Then he babbles at Mrs Lee about me and Mrs Lee's LOOKING at me like she's telling me to do something spectacular. I'm like WHAT? SHOULD I BALANCE A BALL ON MY NOSE? BARK? ROLL OVER AND BEG FOR TREATS WHAT? ...I get no clue from her stony visage. She's reverted to her minorly crawly mode and simpers up to him very nicely. Anyway, he smiles at both me and Stella on the way out, and seems very nice, and Stella said he was really cool. So I'll trust her word. We were then yanked next door to meet the 40596 admin staff i mentioned earlier, and then off to meet the head of the teaching staff, and then off to meet the head of the language school... and then back to Sesame, where I was plonked alone in a room in order to prepare my "lesson curriculum" for the year. Fine, says I, but I've never done this before. This is part of what my training will cover, yes? no? ...She says yes, and walks out... and so my "training" is thus done by me alone. Really, forming lesson plans is quite fun. The next five hours or so ran by really quickly. Admittedly I was really slow forming things - well I've never done it before! but I had one Starter level unit planned - that's about a week's worth of lessons - and one Level 1 unit half planned by the time they came back and said I could use the PC. Amy, her name is, and we sat and chatted for AGES. She's a year older than me - I think her Korean name is Che Yeon? It ran together to sound like Cheeeeon XD ...she was LOVELY. We talked about movies and music and things we do to chill and she and I have SO much of that shit in common yo. We're talking about going to see movies and concerts and whatever already. She's motherfucking god damned LOVELY. So is Stella, although Stella, like me, was more nervous today because, well, first day syndrome XD so I have two friends there, and Celine and Lily are lovely too - I didn't get the chance to speak to Jane much.

Mrs Lee had said she'd pick me up at 6pm, and now it was ...um, well around 7ish or something. So I sat and made good use of the free internet time for a while... and ranted, as some of you saw XD; 7:30 rolled around, and then 8, and my mood was picking up again... [yeah, we're seeing Mrs Lee's timekeeping again, folks >>] and Lily had come in by this time to say she'd give me a lift home tonight. I ran out then to the main office and said oo can i have the address adn phone number of the place so i can find it if necessary tomorrow. they said oh mrs leee will bring you every day... well that was news to me 'cause mrs lee left me standing in the rain for an hour htis morning and has yelled atm e about buying a bicycle every time i've seen her over the week and said I MUST have it by the end of this week - in fact we WERE going to buy it today, remember? wonder where that idea went~! - and she expected me to find my own way this week if possible. I said that to the girls and they were like >_> she told us she'd bring you here and pick you up every day, it's too far for you to bike and it's dangerous - lots of big roads - i'm like yeah i know but >> it's all good - 'cause really I don't wanna be in a car with her every day and reliant on her timekeeping. I'd never get a single lesson taught, honestly. I'd be waiting for her all year. So I get the address and phone number, and Celine gives me her phone number, and I go back to the PC all ^^ about that.

So a little later, maybe 8:35, 8:40, Lily comes in and gives me a Level 5 book that I wasn't given earlier, and said okay at 7:50am tomorrow you'll be teaching these pages and reading this book -hands over book- to advanced students, so they know a little.... and walks off. I'm kinda like "buh?" 'cause well, see above mentioned for Orientation period and training. Not happening apparently. At this point my Bullshit-O-Meter runs out of space to go any higher and just plain BREAKS. Snaps right off. Sooo I grab J Lee's number from ze intarweb recesses of my email acct, and I'm like mkay I'll ask Lily to drop me at Lottemart on the way home and I'll get a taxi from there - AFTER ringing J Lee and i don't give a damn if it's 9pm. ...

but then omg. Mrs Lee makes a reappearance! Hello! :D! me: .....
So we sit for a while with a few more parents and kids and eventually they go home. And I ask Mrs Lee if she can drop me at Lottemart etc. instead. And yeah, I am just abouuuuuut fuming by this point, but I'm doing one hella oscar award winning :) face. She asks why, and I say I want to walk around and give J Lee a call. She says oh but it's late... do it tomorrow. I said I can't. I'm teaching from 7:50am tomorrow. She said oh... well you can call him tonight from my office. I said no. I want a private conversation - and my :) mask is begining to slip. In fact it's kinda knicker-level right now [that's panty level for you americans] and I'm staring at her with a kinda :| and that little glint in my eye that's plotting how many hot-water-half-cooked noodles it will take to strangle her. She says well >> it'll have to wait until tomorrow 'cause it's too late now and ---

yeah, you guessed it. my :) :| turned to a oㅍO <- for those of you who don't have krn fonts installed, that's the best EVER gritted teeth character I've ever seen. it's their character for P [no, not the one Bi uses]. and I said veryveryvery quietly between clenched teeth [whilst staring dramatically off into the corner for effect --- or maybe just so i stopped trying to wring her beautiful neck] i am not happy. i am angry. i want to talk to John Lee. Okay? she said why what's wrong? ...so I told her I didn't appreciate being lied to about training, lessons, anything. I didn't want to be rude but blahblahblah. After a few minutes of this growling - she had to lean very close to hear me XD - she finally got the hint that I was PISSED --- and asked me if I was going to quit like O.O!!!!! and I said no, not gonna happen, but I DID want to get things STRAIGHT PLEASE... I ALSO told her right out that there was no way in HELL i was NOT keping my friends outside of Incheon because i've known them a long time and they are my friends and i don't want to lose them thank you very much lady and to be blunt, she had about as much chance of a snowflake in a furnace of whatever.

well. she didn't understand most of what i said - gave me another lecture about communication >> ...but then sorted it so i'm teaching on Monday now, and will be shadowing the other teachers tomorrow and meeting this Michael character finally so I can get some farking answers from someone. So then we all head out to go home, and we stand in the rain talking for a bit, I'm now standing under AMY's umbrella which she doesn't FORCE on me. She just fixed herself so she was next to me :) see, she knows me already yo. Smart girl. Then we all say baibai and get in the car, and we drop Jane off where she lives - despite Mrs Lee saying oh we need t otake a direct route home so you know the way.............. >> uh huh. So then we talk about bikes and umbrellas a little >> very quietly still 'cause to be honest I'm still simmering. I'm doing pretty well at lowering my general body temp though. and she expects me to be able to carry an umbrella whilst on a bike because otherwise my hair will fall out. I tell her that's impossible - we actually discussed this a little earlier in the day whe nwe arrived at the school. I forgot to mention it. I was politer that time around XD - and inside i'm like well honey if you show me how to do it on roads with four or five lanes PER SIDE ...sure, i'll follow you like the pied fucking piper. Obviously I didn't say that. I'd regained enough of my temper by then. So she's like oh buy a raincoat and a hat and oh you'll need lights and .. I'm like WOAH honey. You left me to furnish the apartment on my OWN... I'll be lucky if I have enough money for a wheel this weekend. Didn't say that, again. Just kinda said uh huh. Then we hit the door to the block with my apartment and her office in, and i said g'night! er... what time tomorrow? 7:30am? she said no, around 9ish 'cause you aren't needed in the morning - i'm like >> er? watch classes plz? ...but no, maybe 9, maybe a bit later... so i say :> mk. g'night!!!! and RUN inside my apartment.

I THREW my clothes off like OMG FUCK OFF. And I had this overwhelming need to be my-fucking-SELF again for a little while. So. I put on: automaton trousers, sisters of mercy tee, my big black coat with the purple fluffy hood rim and fur cuffs etc.etc., big ass shoes, and RAN the fuck off to the pc bang like OMG GOODBAIIIIIIII ....I didn't stop to put any makeup on or spike my hair up. I would've got too calm while doing it... I just got the hell outta there and installed my butt here.

So I've got my computer. I'm blasting TRAX into my ears for that dose of angsty teenybopper EMO and potentially deafening the entire place while i'm at it... I have the cup of coffee that, as ever, i won't drink, and it's 10 minutes past midnight.

And I. Am. Fine.

I thought I'd write this before emailing J Lee XD which I am still planning on doing and saying WTF about some things, but I thought it'd be wiser to be calmer when I did that, 'cause he's not proved himself utterly inept at anything ... Yet. Well. Other than NOT telling me I'd need to be blonde nad yaddayadda wtfever blahblah.

Oh, and mama-mrs-lee is older than i thought. she has the 9 year old son and an 18 year old daughter she doesn't see very often, from what i gather.

Woo. I'm done.

Edit: or not. I forgot to mention. She now is yelling at me because my eyebrows ARE TOO LIGHT A COLOUR and I should DRAW THEM IN BROWN.

WTF WOMAN MY FUCKING EYEBROWS ARE BLONDE WHAT THE GOD DAMNED HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!